Tuesday, May 18, 2010

So slap my hand and take away my birthday ...

I know I haven't posted anything since I set this up, but honestly, I've been really busy!

I've been working on a website, and helping my Aunt to come up with ideas for the new business she started back in February, so my time has been pretty limited. Not to mention my life is pretty boring, so I don't usually have anything to blog about.

But, today I feel the need to share my thoughts and feelings on something, so here I am! LOL

As I said, I've been working on a website for my aunt, and it's all done now (for anyone that would like to see it the url is http://bambinodiapercakes.com - feel free to look around and place an order! LOL), so I've been helping her to come up with new ideas for diaper cakes and other items to sell.

My life, as I've also said, is b.o.r.i.n.g. And I'm being 100% serious about this. I have basically nothing in my life other than my husband and kids right now. I have friends, but they all live in my computer lol so it's not like we can go out and do things together, yanno?

Anyway ... lately, my Aunt and I have been coming up with some REALLY good ideas for things, but she's only one person and can't do everything on her own. She has her sister, my Aunt Cindy, helping her with certain things, but she has her own interests as well, so it's not like this business is all she has in her life. I have this incredible urge to just pack up all our belongings and move to Georgia where my aunt lives to help her with this business and be able to work on it with her as many hours a day as possible. The only problem with that is that my husband is in the Army, and without the Army, we have no income. And unfortunately, there is no Army base right next to where my Aunt lives.

We currently live in New York, and we're in the process of beginning a PCS move to Louisiana. This will take place a few months from now. Granted, Louisiana is closer to Georgia than we are now, but it's still more than 12 hours to my aunts house via car, so it's not like I can just run over there to help her out. The hubby and I have seriously thought about requesting a transfer to Fort Stewart, Ga, as it is only a little more than 3 hours from my aunt, so I would be able to go up there occasionally to help out with things, however, it'll be at least 2 years before we can even consider doing that. And now looking at things, I see that Fort Gordon is less than 2 hours from where my aunt lives, so I'm thinking that's an even better option! LOL

I am really tired of having nothing in my life outside my family. I need adult conversation and interaction, and right now, I don't have any options to get that into my life. And the only time I do get that, outside of the military spouse forum I belong to, is on the phone with my aunt talking about the business. I understand that it's her business, I didn't start it, however, because I have been helping her, she insists that I now have a vested interest in the business and it's as much mine as it is hers. But, I don't feel like I've contributed much of anything to the business other than creating a website that is not only pretty but also functional for her customers.

I wish that there was a way we could get our orders for Louisiana changed to go to Georgia, especially considering that my husband isn't expected to be in Louisiana for long once we get there. I'll be there for probably 12 months or so without him, and it would be nice if I were closer to my aunt so that I could go over to her house and help her work on the business rather than having to do things over the phone. Going to Georgia to be closer to my aunt once my husband leaves Louisiana isn't an option either, because my son will be in school.

I don't know, maybe I'm just grasping on to this business my aunt started so hard because I don't have anything else going on in my own life right now. It sucks, I know, but I don't really know how to fix it.

I've tried getting out there and making friends, and either I attract the wrong kind of people (drama queens who have nothing better to do than to whine about their own issues despite the fact that they refuse to do anything to change it - wow that sounds quite a lot like me right now, doesn't it???? lol) or I have a hard time finding someone to be friends with because we don't share any of the same interests.

I'm not what most would consider pretty or anything like that, and while I realize it may seem like a cop-out, I do find that people don't really want to take the time to get to know me because of the way I look. And that's fine, I don't want to be friends with people that are so concerned about outward appearances, but damnit, it gets kind of frustrating sometimes not to have friends just because people can't get past the way I look.

Ok, I think I'm done "feeling sorry for myself" so I'm going to end this little "pity party" because that's exactly what it feels like it's turning into, and anyone that really knows me knows that I'm NOT the type to complain about my problems. My problems are my problems, and I don't like to weigh others down with my issues.

So, if you've made it this far, sweet! LOL If not, you don't know I'm saying this, but I'm sorry if it seemed like I was trying to gain sympathy for myself, that was not my intention. I'm just frustrated and venting I guess.